Wanting

On a single idea I sit myself down wanting

Letting thoughts swing back and forth to the corners of a desperate mind

They’re looking for a place to gain substance and comfort in the possibility of change

This is my playground of make believe where I can permit such things to become more

Even if it is false misguided hope

A lie which fate in time could rape from me without remorse

I turn myself away from such threats to blindness

This truth I will not see

I refuse to see

For it would finally break me and crumble the idea to dust

Is it that wrong to wish for self-worth?

I do not know

If so my footprints are damned to be confused marks on time

Never understood but still needing to be denied by all for the fear of mirroring my path

Only to allow their own failing to be laid bare in plain sight of others

Receiving in return a share of a mocking breath as it bites across their ears

A curse or maybe Salvation?

A chance to be reborn through the shedding of a disguising skin

Layer after layer to be savaged away by an uncontrollable swarm of emotions in a frantic tearing need to find themselves

On a single idea I sit myself down wanting

Wanting to be more

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